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'Scuse Me While I Kiss The Pipe

Marquee Smith and the Fall They Call Him Two-Eyes

Tetsuo: The Iron ManAmidst my formative high school years in the culture-dry suburbs of Mesa, AZ, I was first turned on to Japanese cult director Shinya Tsukamoto through a beat-up VHS rental of his hallucinatory flagship freakout, Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1988). Not terribly far removed from my misguided days of teasing my mother for watching foreign films (who wants to read their movie?), my cinematic vocabulary was still too underdeveloped to productively dissect the film's black-and-white, post-industrial landscape of phallic drills, skull-eating metals and suicide by rusting. If forced to synopsize for a friend, I probably babbled something like: "Imagine a young David Lynch remaking Evil Dead 2 with nothing but junkyard sets and hardware-store props." Thank god I branched out and found Fassbinder, Godard and Tarkovsky when I did, or I'd have ended up worshipping at the cult of Harry Knowles -- parents' basement, factory-sealed action figures, spectuactular(ly dusty) video collection, virginity and all -- for the rest of my life.

The funny thing about The Iron Man-Maker's career is that my then-amateurish critique wouldn't be entirely off the mark today. Disturbing, disorienting and often attempting to commingle inorganic clashes (body vs. technology, man vs. metropolis, inner psyche A Snake of June vs. outer beast) into physical relationships, the visually frenetic films of Tsukamoto are sage monstrosities, too linear to be pigeonholed as avant-garde and too experimental to provoke a right or wrong analysis. They don't just make your skin crawl, they make your skin try to burrow under itself to hide, which I can only say with genuine admiration and a satiated taste for surprise. To update my oversimplified take, if early Cronenberg were the perversely brilliant scientist of flesh-transformation horror, then Tsukamoto would be the unchained pit bull devouring said genius. If you're feeling adventurous, I'd highly recommend his mesmerizing blue-tinted study in erotic voyeurism, A Snake of June (2002), a Venice Film Festival prizewinner and perhaps his most user-friendly, for whatever that's worth.

Tsukamoto's first digital project, the 49-minute Haze (2005), will be the single midnight screening at NYFF this year, and while I'm still assimilating its intentions and after-effects into my definitive opinion, my initial gut reaction (the only kind you typically get from his films) is to call this reductivist trial in art-horror a front-loaded success in culling dread from negative space. Condensed into a 25-minute short for an omnibus project commissioned by the Jeonju International Film Festival (along with Korean director Song Il-gon's Magician(s) and another from one of my fave Thai filmmakers, Apichatpong Weerasethakul's Worldly Desires), Writer/director/star Shinya Tsukamoto in 'Haze' the full-length Haze startles you alert and rigid from its very first frame. Tsukamoto himself stars as a nameless man who has insoluably woken up into a personal hell, a close-quarters cavern of concrete and darkness with no logical escape. Alone, confused and nursing a bleeding belly wound, this poor bastard desperately and uncomfortably contorts himself through blackened mazes of heart-racing ambience (ours and his), frequently passing out from exhaustion. Upon awakening, new tests await:

How do you free yourself when you are trapped teeth-first to dirty piping and cannot move your head backwards? You painfully grind your teeth laterally until you find a gap in the pipe. When you make your way down one end and find only a wall, you grind your way back the other direction. (This caused a couple walkouts.)

How do you evade a spring-loaded hammer you can't see in the dark, repeatedly smashing your head? You painfully squeeze yourself into a tiny tunnel that drops you headfirst down a slide into face-targeted stalagmites. (This caused a few more.)

More Tsukamoto, More 'Haze' Occasionally, he hears a woman's apology in his subconscious and witnesses surreal blurs of blinding light and flying fish that could possibly be from his past, or is he merely suffering from sensory depravation? Tsukamoto seems a bit too content with the ambiguity and offers no hints to the what or why of this torment, but the visceral impact of fear in the nothingness is a full-bodied reminder that the most authentic frights come from what you can't see, not what's poked into the camera's eye to make audiences flinch. (Hollywood, take note!) In the film's substantially weaker back half, a second character and pools of bloody man-burger meat are introduced to take the film into latter-day Takashi Miike territory (I'm thinking of the smugly abstracted imagery of Gozu and Izo), but even if you're ultimately scratching your head at the final credits sequence, Haze's strongest moments prove that graphic brutality -- or even discernible lighting -- aren't necessary to conjure terror as raw as sushi.

For fun, here's what the high-school me might have said in 2005: "Imagine Dario Argento and Miike collaborating on a film called Cowards Break the Kneecap, or Gaspar Noe remaking the indie sci-fi gem Cube. That's totally Haze."

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What kind of victory is it when someone is left defeated?I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!


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Cinephiliac cannot be found in any English dictionary, as only a "cinephile" (film enthusiast) would suffer from "cinephilia" (obsessive love of cinema). To better understand, "Cinephiliac" suffers to the bone from "cinephilia." Cinephiliac is the not-so-secret codename for what will inevitably become the Greatest Film Rental Library (read: "video store") in Brooklyn, NY. We will endorse the preservation of film culture and provide the best in cinema, renting DVDs not often available from larger chains and smaller "mom-and-pop" stores; We will specialize in film festival award winners, independent releases, avant-garde and cult classics, foreign films, documentaries, special interest, arthouse favorites and other critically acclaimed titles, new and old. Large scale studio releases will be only be made lightly available to secondary markets of less discriminating tastes. Cinephiliac exists to attract, entertain, enrich and maintain customers. When we adhere to this maxim, everything else will fall into place. Our services will exceed the expectations of our customers. Cinephiliac is the brainchild of entrepreneuer (and professional film critic) Aaron Hillis, who is still offering Phase I investment opportunities throughout 2005 and 2006. To request online access to Aaron's business plan, address all inquiries here. Aaron Hillis vividly remembers the first R-rated movie his parents ever allowed him to watch, the 1986 sci-fi/action epic Aliens, which features a myriad of gory "chest-bursting" effects that aren't exactly Mom's idea of family entertainment. "My folks weren't worried about the violence having a negative effect on me," Aaron recalls, "because even as a fourth grader, I was basically explaining to them how the filmmakers created these fantastic illusions that existed outside of reality!" Growing up with this undeterrable passion for the cinema led Aaron to study Motion Picture Production and Film Theory at Arizona State Univsity and U.T. Austin (University of Texas), but it wasn't until the summer of 2002, while living in Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn, NY), that he began to make his living through the movies: "It was pretty wild. Not only did I stumble onto a regular gig writing DVD and film reviews for Premiere Magazine, but I was concurrently being asked to take full reign as manager of an indie video store in my neighborhood." After 16 months of managing the Hole-in-the-Wall Video store, where he increased annual profits from 7% to 31% through creative marketing and unique innovations, Aaron finally got the gumption to reap the rewards of opening his own store. Cinephiliac will build upon prototype business strategies already proven successful for Aaron, such as concentrating on quality movies instead of simply mainstream commercial releases, a previously unmet demand in the area. "The most important thing for me is enlightening people to the vast diversities of film culture they might not even know about. Most filmgoers would rent better titles if they simply knew they existed, things you won't find at Blockbuster, Netflix or an 'In-Demand' cable service. When customers come into my store, I want them to experience the happy medium between film school and their favorite hangout." When he isn't dissecting the works of Jean-Luc Godard or Russ Meyer, Aaron used to take the form of an illustrator, a part-time DJ, a full-blown coffee addict and a doting boyfriend. His latest Premiere reviews are available to read here. CLICK the titles below for pop-up reviews of Aaron's Top Ten Films of 2003: 1. Lost in Translation 2. Spider 3. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 4. Pistol Opera 5. Finding Nemo 6. Kill Bill: Volume 1 7. The Man Without a Past 8. Capturing the Friedmans 9. Irreversible 10. Hukkle - Honorable Mention (11-20, alphabetically): All the Real Girls . Bad Santa . Friday Night . Girlhood . The Good Thief . Raising Victor Vargas . The Revolution Will Not Be Televised . School of Rock . Swimming Pool . 28 Days Later If only I had seen them during 2003: American Splendor . Big Fish . Bus 174 . City of God . Cold Mountain . demonlover . Dracula: Pages From a Virgin's Diary . The Fog of War . In America . The Son . The Station Agent . Ten . The Triplets of Belleville . 21 Grams . Unknown Pleasures . Whale Rider - (Dobson High School in Mesa, Arizona [AZ] class of 1995) - the investment opportunities here are a sure thing for investors looking for either small-risk, mid-risk, large-risk vestings, tax-deductible, high interest rates compound (compounded) monthly (that's every month, unless we're The Da Vinci Code cracked by Connie Chung), and GreenCine Daily (GreenCine.com), David Hudson aka D W Hudson is simply the bomb, but Court Street, Smith Street, Columbia Street, and Union Street near Cobble Hill, Red Hook, and Boerum Hill is the place to be for this venture capitalists or should I say venture capital or even venture capitalism! VHS is dead to us rare DVD fanatics, but we will carry all titles by Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Terry Gilliam, Samuel Fuller, Emeric Pressburger, Michael Powell (and Pressburger), Jan Kadar Elmar Klos, film theory and criticism, Robert Flaharty, Cristi Puiu and the Death of Mr. Lazarescu, Werner Herzog World Cup, ecstacy of truth (like the ecstasy of truth), Wim Wenders, Aleksandr Sokurov into Robert Altman, Hal Hartley, Carl Theodor Dreyer (Carl Th. Dreyer), Akira Kurosawa, Takashi Miike, Woody Allen, George W. Bush's favorite aspect ratio, Dorota Kedzierzawska, Francis Ford Coppola, Milos Forman, Home Vision and Image, Cinemascope in 2007, El Topo vs. Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne (brothers Dardennes), Larry Cohen, Philippe Garrel stars Louis Garrel, Julien Duvivier, Cult Epics, Hiroshi Inagaki vs. The Chronicles of Narnia (Prince Caspian!), Herk Harvey, David Gordon Green by way of Gaspar Noe, Luis Bunuel, Sergio Leone noir, Bernardo Bertolucci, Michael Haneke is and isn't Hidden (Caché), Nicholas Roeg, Karl Rove, Terry Jones (Monty Python), Philip Kaufman, Fritz Lang, Ernst Lubitsch, IRA terrorism via DV filmmaking, Neil Jordan, Paul Morrissey, Peter Jackson's King Kong meets Andy Warhol in Technicolor (Superman Returns), Spike Lee, David Lean, Jiri Menzel, Peter Medak, Film Bloggers Explode, Mario Monicelli, John Lurie, Tom Waits on YouTube, Jim Jarmusch, Patrice Chéreau, Federico Fellini (they're all naked!), Merchant Ivory, Bill Murray, Allison Anders, 43rd New York Film Festival, Steven Soderbergh or the lovely Coleman Hough, Quentin Tarantino, Alejandro Jodorowsky, Andrei Tarkovsky, Shohei Imamura, Uncle Alfred Hitchcock destroys Lucio Fulci, World Trade Center, Marcel Camus, Robert Bresson, Peter Brook, when little-known Fernando Arrabal returns, Wes Anderson and the Phallic Vagina imagery, Mario Bava, Kevin Smith, director George Clooney, 2006: The Puppet Theater of Paul Thomas Anderson, Cannes Film Festival, Fishkill documentary entitled Fish Kill Flea (coming soon), Ingmar Bergman, Yasujiro Ozu, Shohei Imamura, Noah Baumbach, Aki Kaurismaki, Francois Ozon, grips and gaffters, 9 Songs: Franz Ferdinand, Beat Takeshi Kitano, Marie Antoinette over Satantango: Bela Tarr, Christopher Guest, Asia Argento (completely nude in a blockbuster documentary?), then we ask Albert Maysles, film projectors of 1920, Mitsuo Yanagimachi reads Albert Camus, Peter Weir, Agnes Varda, Jacques Demy in North Korea, Bertrand Tavernier, Heath Ledger in my neighborhood (Douglass Street), Seijun Suzuki, Francois Truffaut, Gregory La Cava, Laurence Olivier, D. A. Pennebaker, Remy Belvaux, Jean Renoir, Sundance devours the South Korean New Wave, Michelangelo Antonioni, every single Japanese Shochiku, Kurt Momberger is M.I.A., Rene Clair, Henri-Georges Clouzot clips, Jean Cocteau, Joe D'Amato meets Rob Reiner, Jean-Paul Civeyrac goes Through the Forest, Carol Reed, Alain Resnais, Bohdan Sláma (Slama), DVD Beaver, Lynne Ramsay (hot sex on the inside), Brian De Palma (Brian DePalma), Sergei Eisenstein, Red State vs. Blue State, Lars von Trier eats Dogville's Manderlay, Osama bin Laden visits Jonathan Demme, Peter Davis, Alex Cox, David Cronenberg, Wong Kar-Wai, Michael Winterbottom, Harry Potter, Jacques Tati portrait of international awards, the nunsploitation of Neil Jordan, Stanley Kubrick, Roger Corman and Funny Ha Ha, Michael Almereyda, Stan Brakhage, Ronald Neame, not from Spider-Man 3: Stanley Donen, The Criterion Collection, Jules Dassin, Jean-Pierre Melville, Aldo Lado is no Dario Argento, Mai Zetterling (Loving Couples), Dobson High School's Merritt Corless, after Ken Pringle tracked me down, Barbet Schroeder, Sam Peckinpah, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, Vilgot Sjoman, Douglas Sirk, a drunken Hong Sang-soo fights a sober Im Sang-soo, Mike Judge goes Blue Underground, Cannes Film Festival videos, Paul Verhoeven, Kankuro Kudo eats John Woo (do you remember Elvis Woo?), Park Chanwook over Preston Sturges and more auteur theory than you Fantoma can shake an F-train--Fahrenheit 9/11, Howard Dean or at. Sooner or later, everyone pictures Michael Moore goes Sexplastic! Well hello, New Video Group or simply New Video (Docurama, A"E, A&E, New Video NYC, Scholastic) Glenn Kenny and Filmbrain and Cinetrix and Christian Parkess and Rob Karimi (Bobby Karimi, sike9!) and Peter Debruge and the cutest, Jennifer Loeber aka Jennifer Exit. Download: http://www.archive.org/download/George_Bush_Doesnt_Like_Black_People/GeorgeBushDoesntCareAboutBlackPeople.mp3 (George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People)